Monday, 18 October 2010

Voluntary Amnesia

My Great grandmother was a hypochondriac, so was my grandma.  Luckily (or not) it skipped my mother, but I think I've got it too. Today I want to share with you my latest self diagnosis... Voluntary Amnesia.

A year and a half ago, I made the decision to end a long distance affair by making it local. All it took was the word Yes.  And with that yes came a move.  I left home happily and ready for a change and I knew I was getting into something different, different language, food, culture.  Little did I know that I was going to cross the migration desk and wake up the next day like I had been on a multiple year comma with full on amnsesia.

It's strange this voluntary amnesia, you walk around in a sea of strangers, recognizing no faces (not even the celebrities), and you seem to know things like a tree is a tree but appart from that, everything else is just "foreign".  So you have start from scratch because while on this sleep, the world has forgotten you as well and all you've done in your previous years of consiousness no longer applies or seems relevant or shows up on computers (it reminds me of the Vogons in The Hitchhickers Guide to the Galaxy).

So you try to start over, and find a spot to ground yourself and start slowly trying to bloom out of insignificance, try to reach out to make strange faces familiar but it's a big waste of time because those faces have plenty of familiarity in their own lives, and as much as you try to share your wonderful experience in the world of sleep, no one has really been there before, so it doesn't really matter.  Plus this sleep has affected your speech and you're constantly sounding silly and can't even be funny anymore.

Anyway, I guess now a days Voluntary Amnesia is as common and global as the smell of greasy chips at the local McDonalds. I am hoping after a bit more time, I will start remembering and maybe even be funny again. Until now, better start reading up on my celebrities!

dooby dooby do
wa wa  wawa
starting over totally
bla bla blabla

ooee ooee ooo
bip bip bip bip
living like a looney toon
flip flip flip flip

Oh Oh I'm an alien
I'm a legal alien
I'm a Tropical in the Cold.



Anonymous said...

This is beautifully written. And to me it is a source of inspiration as I often feel this way. I don't have one place where my 'memory' is kept because mine are scattered all over and with people who are now unfortunately out of my life. Sometimes I feel like the world has never known me and that I have only been what these past 10 years have brought, which saddens me. But life is an adventure, howbeit a difficult one and some people are up for adventuring. Impatience for adventuring is 2nd nature to creative souls but I am trying to find my adventure where I can even if it isn't where I imagined.

* said...

yo tambien tengo voluntary amnesia!! love u!!

Tante B said...

Oh this speaks a lot to me! Believe it or not - still after 8 years in Spain now I often feel like you describe.
Greeting from your classmate (-;